I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize