I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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