I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize