So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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