I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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