so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
