I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
