I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
