8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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