I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
