I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
