I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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