Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
