You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
