This girl is more easily done than said...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
