I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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