I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You don't make any sense
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