yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
