Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
