weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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