BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
