well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
