He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
