Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She is in my trunk
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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