first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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