i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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