I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
