The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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