She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
