Got a toothbrush?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
