Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
