community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize