hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
