I got chris browned last night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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