I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize