She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
