next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
