if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
