You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
