yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
