I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
