What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
