I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
