I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
