I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
