Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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