So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
