i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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