This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
