Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
