tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
