party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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