It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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