I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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