He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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