They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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