I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize