Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I AM VODKA MAN
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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