I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
