would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Having Fatherās Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. āHey dad just calling to say I love you.ā While Iām navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Fatherās Day.
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