Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
