i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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