Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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