why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
