I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
