My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize