I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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